Paris Outside the Peripherique: Vaucresson

I married my dreamy French husband in 2011 but we first met in 1992 in high school (friends only relationship). He was a foreign exchange student spending one year abroad and just happened to magically end up sitting next to me in high school speech class. For him he would say, “the silent infatuation started” because, I had an athletic older boyfriend. We were very good friends through that year and then he returned to France. He stayed in touch with me via email because, he always remembered my birthday which was: the same day, month and year as his sisters.  Then 18 years later Facebook changed our lives.

In 2010 he found my mom on FacebookTM and messaged her to see if I was on there as well.  Well now you get the picture. From the moment he friended me on Facebook and we then video chatted. He was then, at my door step 4 weeks later. He said, “I have been in love with you for 18 years!” Truly a romantic novel and we were married in 2011 and I moved to France in August 2012.

Moving to Paris to live my romantic love story was a dream. My husband had already owned a flat near his work in Boulogne just next to the 16^th.  Soon we were a family of one and two on the way so change needed to happen. I soon realized the romantic beauty of the city from a visitor’s eye was different than for an actual resident.

I love green space, clean air and soon found out that living in a flat inside the densely populated city was not for me. We searched areas west of Paris because our family needed bilingual schools that were affordable to us local people not on large ex-pat contracts. I also needed to not feel secluded from life and feel alone.

We searched many west suburbs within the 92 and 78 and I fell in love with Vaucresson in the 92.  It is a green place with the Rueil Malmaison woods and all the natural landscapes around the small neighborhoods.  Walking the streets, I felt there were acres of green space and with all the large beautiful homes quaint neighborhoods/restaurants.  It just felt good to breathe cleaner air! I felt comfortable raising our family here.

Public transportation is close to the city via Line L, with La Defense only 15 minutes away and Saint Lazare, 25 minutes. We enjoy going into the city near Saint Lazare but, neither my husband nor I work in there. He works in Nanterre and I work from the house doing consulting.

The downtown area near the Gare has cute little shops, a couple bakeries, florist and a lovely market. As you walk towards the forest you see huge soccer fields and a large new local sports center. I fell in love with the area up by the Rueil Malmaison woods and a lovely Italian family restaurant.  But what about the French public schools and bilingual schools in the community of Vaucresson?

There are 2 French public preschools and 2 French public elementary schools which we discovered by talking to the locals, were very good. There are no bilingual programs in Vaucresson public schools but Celle Saint Cloud has one and Versailles has options as well.  We found the perfect fit for us , Celle Saint Cloud International School and it also fits our budget. Our son is 6 years old and goes for 3 hours Wednesday mornings and 3 hours Monday afternoons.  Our daughter is only 1 so she will start but not until the Grande section. I have met many expat families around the area because the American School of Paris and British School of Paris are nearby. It’s a great choice for those looking for a family friendly town outside of Paris!

Heather is an American doctor of chiropractic who found my Prince Charming in my mid 30’s and Now raising our family in France. I provide consultations in nutrition, body and holistic health aspects of life via Skype and also a home office.

www.drheatherolson.com

 

 

 

 

Paris Outside the Périphérique: Bienvenue à Maisons Lafitte

After spending 3 years living in central Paris (the 11th arrondissement), my family and I decided to  make a big change in our lives. We are an Italian family of three (soon to be four) that has spent most of our time between the south of Italy, Ireland and now France. When we decided to settle down here, we started looking at properties to buy in Ile de France.

Due to the proximity to Paris, the easy public transport connections (RER A to La Defense, Central Paris, Val de Marne and the SNCF L train to St Lazare station) we decided to focus on les Yvelines.

We immediately fell in love with Maisons Laffitte.

The minute you get off the train , you  start to appreciate the beautiful Mairie (City Hall) with it’s immaculate look and fresh flowers. Right opposite the City Hall, a ludothèque and a public library which organises plenty of free events for children all there to welcome you.

When you continue to walk towards the famous Park of Maisons Lafitte, you can enjoy doing your grocery shopping at some of the many top quality local butchers, bakeries , flower shops etc, on Avenue Longueil. If you are like me, with a sweet tooth,  you can’t miss having a Paris brest from the bakery which invented this famous pastry. So delicious!

Food aside, we also fell in love with the focus on nature preservation in Maisons Laffitte.

A beautiful forest connecting this town with Saint Germain en Laye provides lots of green, fresh unpolluted air and several spots for bird watching. You can also enjoy long walks surrounded by trees, green fields, and spot horses being walked around in the famous park or you can just simply be still with nature amongst picture perfect scenery by the Seine river .

Maisons Laffitte is famous for being the ‘town of the horses” . An important part of this town’s life is dedicated to anything horse related. ML has the biggest hippodrome in Ile de France, hosting national and international competitions, with many renowed stables.

This town has over 170 associations dedicated to sports and cultural events, a newly renovated aquatic centre, and one of the most beautiful golf clubs in IDF. The town hall organises many free events targeted to all age groups (children, families, pensioners..) and works together with groups and organisations to offer ateliers and meetings.

The icing on the cake?! We couldn’t believe it, when we discovered that the town hall organizes an annual event at the beautiful Chateau  to welcome all the new residents. A private tour of the town is offered along with a champagne reception. We didn’t even have to worry about childcare as it was provided by the event organizers.

I could spend endless hours talking about this place and sharing with you stories on why I love this town. What are you waiting for? Take my word for it and come visit! Bienvenue à Maisons Lafitte 🙂

Angela, 36 years old, Italian.

I have been working in Finance for the last 10 years. Passionate about my job and with a strong desire to empower other people, especially women, I have recently started “Budgeting with Angela”. My mission is to help people have a healthier relationship with money: learning how to look at it, manage it and optimize their resources. I love cooking and collaborative networking. Please find some of my links below:

https://www.facebook.com/BudgetingWithAngela/

https://m.facebook.com/events/303559043707622?__mref=mb

 

 

Everything You Need to Know About Collège aka Middle School in France!

 

Being an expatriate parent in France isn’t always easy, especially when trying to navigate a different education system. And unfortunately it doesn’t get easier with time, which goes by so fast! Before you know it, just as you seem to have a grasp on école maternelle and primaire, it’s time to register your not so little one for collège. Here is everything you need to know about the process:

First off, depending on where you are from this may come as a surprise, but in France collège is 4 years. Here is a chart summarizing the French vs American system:

For collège, you have three basic options. Your child can attend the public collège of your local district, a private school, or a public collège outside of your district that offers different options, like a sports/study or arts/study program. For these programs, students have a minimum of three hours of practice during the school week. If you choose the last option, contact the collège directly to find out how to sign up. You will also need to request a dispensation (“dérogation”) for your child to attend that collège if it is not in your district.

Some collèges, both public and private, have open house days when you and your child can go and learn more about how things work. Sometimes your child’s CM2 teacher will take the class to the collège for a visit. Don’t hesitate to ask your child’s teacher if such a visit is planned.

Near the end of the CM2 school year, papers will start to come home from elementary school about registering for the collège in your district. If this is your choice, just fill out the enrollment forms and bring them to the collège at the dates and times indicated. The enrollment forms can be complicated to understand, as they use terms you may not have seen elsewhere. Your French friends may not be much help with interpreting the forms if they haven’t been through this before either, and some of the terms are pure educational system jargon that even the French don’t know unless they work in the collège!

Some tips:

• LV1: “langue vivante 1” – that means the first foreign language your child will study. This is generally English, even if your child is an English-speaker.
• LV2: “langue vivante 2”, the second foreign language your child will study. If your child is doing a bilingual program, starting German in 6e, then you would put German here. If your child is not doing the bilingual program, then there is no LV2 until 5e, so just leave this blank.
• Option: Some children may have an “option”, which means an additional, optional course. An example of this is when your child does a sport alongside his studies. Your school may offer options of volleyball, badminton, soccer, rowing, or other sports. Some schools may offer music (CHAM), dance (CHAD), theater (CHAT), or art (CHAAP). Contact your collège to find out what they offer.
• DPT / Externe / DPS: You will need to decide on your child’s meals and transportation.
• The “DP” stands for “demi-pensionnaire“, and this refers to whether your child will eat at the school cafeteria daily. Some schools have various arrangements possible, where you pay a rate per trimester, equaling a lower daily rate, if your child eats at the cafeteria every day.
• If your child eats only occasionally, you may pay a higher daily rate and you may have to pay ahead of time. For transportation (“transporté” vs “surveillé” vs “externe”), your child may take the bus, or not, and be free to leave when his or her classes are over for the day (if not taking the bus), or be free to leave only when the school day is officially over.
• Students are generally not permitted to leave between lessons, so if your child has class from 9 to 10, and 11 to 12, but nothing from 10 to 11, he or she will need to go to study hall during that time.
  In some cases, your child may be an “interne” (boarding student) if the collège is far from home and offers the option.

FINANCIAL AID (“BOURSES”)
There is financial aid available for school lunches at the departmental and national level. The collège will let you know how to apply for this, but if you have questions, ask your school’s “gestionnaire.”
PARENT REPRESENTATIVES (“ASSOCIATION DE PARENTS D’ELEVES”)
As in elementary school, there is a parents’ association in collège as well. It works in the same way, with parents being elected by other parents. The elected parents are part of the administrative council of the school and serve as representatives for other parents when issues come up. They also attend the class conference, in which each student’s grades are discussed before report cards are issued.
STUDENT REPRESENTATIVES (“DELEGUE DE CLASSE”)
A class representative, or délegué de classe, is a student from each class elected by his peers to represent the students’ interests. This student may attend administrative council sessions or class conferences, as mentioned above. There is one representative and one alternate per class.
SPORTS ASSOCIATIONS
For the first time in public education, your child is able to participate in sports directly through the school association, called UNSS. Various sports are offered, and these are usually offered during the lunch break or on Wednesday afternoons. You must pay to participate, but the fees are extremely low for the year.

LESSONS
A major change from elementary school is that your child will now have several teachers, one for each subject. Students are split into classes, and the students of each class have the same schedule. They may be split into half-groups for certain classes. Each class has a home room teacher (“professeur principal”), who can be a teacher of any other subject as well, and who takes charge of administrative issues. This teacher serves as your main point of contact if you need to meet with someone concerning your child’s progress, behavior, or other issues that may come up.

26 hours per week of lessons are required in collège. This means that if your child is not taking an optional language or sport, she will have holes in her schedule. If your child remains at school during these hours when she doesn’t have lessons, she can always go to study hall, and at certain times may be able to go to the school library (“centre de documentation”) or the student recreation center (“foyer”).

HOURS
One of the things that may surprise first-time collège parents is how long the school day is. While there are only 26 hours of required instruction, school hours often run from 8 am to 4:30 pm. Once you add in transportation to and from school, and any after school activities, you may find that your child is exhausted, particularly the first week or two. The good news is that kids adapt, so before the Toussaint break, they should be fairly well settled in to the new routine. They may be getting up earlier now than they did in elementary school, so try for as early a bedtime as your family routine allows.

ULIS AND SEGPA
For children with special educational needs, there are special sections available. ULIS (unités localisées pour l’inclusion scolaire) is for children who have been recognized by the MDPH (maison des personnes handicappées) as having particular developmental or other difficulties, and SEGPA is for children who are having trouble in school, where other types of support and help have not yet yielded results.

YOUR POINTS OF CONTACT
CPE: conseiller principal d’education
Besides your child’s home room teacher, the CPE is also a main point of contact if you have a concern about your child (or other children, if your child is facing bullying, for example).

School nurse (infirmière):
Not all collèges have a full-time school nurse. But if your child has diabetes, asthma, allergies, or any other specific medical condition, you need to see the school nurse to fill out a “Project d’accueil individualisé” (PAI). This form explains what measures the nurse or other person in charge needs to take in case of a related medical incident. If the nurse is not always present and your child has any type of emergency medication, ask the nurse where this will be kept so your child has access to it immediately if required.

Orientation counselor (conseiller d’orientation) / pyschologist:
This is frequently the same person. The orientation counselor can help your child envision his next steps in the educational process: a regular high school, a vocational high school, university or technical school, what professions he might be interested in later. Some schools also have career days where people in various professions come and speak with the students in smaller groups.

The office (la vie scolaire):
If your child will be absent, call and let the “vie scolaire” know as soon as you are able. They will call you if your child is not in class and you have not alerted them first.

The principal (principale) or vice principal (principale adjoint):
You can make an appointment to speak with either the principal or vice principal if you have an issue that can’t be addressed with one of the previously noted people. The principal or vice principal will also be involved in any sort of disciplinary council.

CORRESPONDENCE BOOK (“CARNET DE LIAISON”)
As in elementary school, your child still has a “carnet de liaison” for notes home. Students must show this book as they enter or leave the school grounds. They also keep their schedule in this book, and any demerits (“observations”) are also noted here to be signed by the parents. “Observations” are given for not being prepared with class materials or for inappropriate behavior at school. A certain number of “observations” eventually result in detention.

ABSENCES
If your child is absent, you need to call and let the school know. The office that takes care of this is the “vie scolaire.” When your child returns to school, you fill out a note with the reason for the absence in his “carnet de liaison”, which he will need to take to the vie scolaire before he can return to class.

PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES
At the end of each of the first two trimesters, you will be invited to parent-teacher conferences. You can sign up to see as many teachers as you like, as far as it fits in their schedule. You can use this time to ask any questions about your child’s grades or behavior or the teacher’s methods, what the class is learning, etc. Some schools give out report cards at the conferences to encourage you to attend.

KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR CHILD’S SCHEDULE AND GRADES
When your child enters collège, you and your child will gain access to a digital portal, “l’Espace Numérique de Travail.” This is a portal that includes information about your child’s schedule, including any last-minute changes due to a teacher’s absence. You can also access Pronotes, a system in which teachers can enter the day’s lessons and homework that’s been assigned, and where you can view your child’s grades and skill levels.

GRADES
Your child may or may not have had number grades in elementary school. In collège, there are both number grades (out of 5, 10, or 20, and with a weighting system) and skill level notations (“compétences”). Many collèges give awards at the end of the year to reward students who have had over a certain grade level all year, or who have shown marked improvement during the year.

“MENTIONS”
When your child gets his grades at the end of the trimester, he may also get a “mention” – something like warning (“mise en garde”), encouragement (“encouragements”), or congratulations (“félicitations”), for example. These can be positive or negative, indicating your child needs to work harder or congratulating your child on her hard work and good results during the year.

CELL PHONES
As of 2018, cell phones are not allowed in collège. In practice, many collèges already had this rule in place. But don’t panic – most schools are reasonable, and the no cell phone rule doesn’t mean your child must travel to and from school without any way of contacting you. It generally just means the cell phone can’t be turned on or used during school hours, or on school grounds. Your child can still turn on the phone before or after school, outside school grounds, if he needs to contact you.

And there is everything you need to know about collège! Look out for the lycée article coming soon!

Alisa Cognard has lived in France for over 20 years. Her two Franco-American children were born here, so she’s been navigating the murky waters of the French educational system for 10 years now. She works as a web programmer, and is an avid reader in her spare time.

Vote for Me! French PTA Elections

With my daughter starting school this year in the French System : Petite Section Maternelle: my mind’s been wondering…

Wondering how things work on the inside. The other side of the gate!  

Looking to understand the French education system and make suggestions as well to brainstorm on ideas and create dialogue between parents and the school . 

I decided to take on a new challenge:

Be a parent’ representative!

I was like “why not?” Get involved from the “Get go”!

The process was rather simple, as the school my daughter  is attending doesn’t make the election process political per say. (Most schools have differents lists and associations such as FCPE or PEEP which tend to represent left party/democrats or right party/republicans ) even if they don’t bluntly state it.

I’m still rather new to the subject so I won’t delve too deep into that. 

With little explanation as to how to proceed I went ahead and submitted my interest, by email, to the “head rep” with a little introduction of myself.

Next step, parents were handed their ballots with a list of names and envelopes to place their votes. 

I find it very odd that there was no in-depth explanation as to “who” you are voting for and why. As you are only handed a list of names, making it hard to decide who to vote for, unless of course you already know the candidates. What should have been clearer, is why it is so important for all parents to submit their votes.

It allows the school and the Mairie to see the percentage of parents interested in “school life” and involvement. By electing a representative, one is taking initiative to participate and offer suggestions on how to improve the school environment.

On Friday, October 13th, all votes were in and I was happy to discover that I was voted in as a “représentante des parents d’élève de La Petite Section maternelle” 

It’s a real pleasure to get involved in the process, especially as an American Expat – even though I’m part French.

Of course, we do not have the final say, however we are the voice between parents and school. 

Our first meeting will be held this coming week where will be able to exchange ideas and assign certain people to particular subjects.

Due to confidentiality reasons I can’t disclose most of the exchange however if I may suggest, do not hesitate if you have any questions, concerns and ideas to submit it to a parent representative. They are here to help you.

This is how you will get heard and learn from the inside out how the French education system works especially important if you are new to the system.

Nathalie, French-Américaine, from California; now living in Nogent-sur-Marne, mom of a 3yr old babygirl and soon baby#2. 

ESL teacher. 

Déléguée Mini-Schools (Ateliers d’Anglais)

Maison a Vendre

After living in France for over 8 years, I am pretty happy with my level of French. I am able to fluently hold conversations, read, and even write simple emails lol…however when I arrived in 2009 this wasn’t the case. Despite the fact that I had taken 2 years of French in college, and studied abroad for a year my language skills were not up to par.

One of the things I tried to do during this time was find ways to immerse myself. Since I love pop culture I would buy different magazines and try to watch television shows. One of my favorite shows quickly became Maison a Vendre/Recherche Appartement  hosted by Stephane Plaza on M6. One of the reasons I loved the show is because the subject was something so relatable trying to find a place to live,  the global struggle especially in and around big cities like Paris! lol…I also appreciated the show because it takes you into French people’s homes, and shows you how they live, as well as their aspirations on how to make a better life for themselves.

When we moved permanently to France, we lived in Paris for almost 2 years. We had to move once our lease was up and the original idea was to rent another apartment in our neighborhood which was at the time on the border of the 12th/20th near Nation. We loved our neighborhood since we had lots of cool restaurants, bars, etc nearby and we could easily walk to places like Bastille.

So we embarked on what is known as the Parisian nightmare of trying to find an apartment. I made the required zillion copies of our dossier, did who knows how many visits, only to be confronted with dozens of other apartment seekers for each visit. After we did about 15 visits, without getting anywhere really we decided to look into buying an apartment. We were pleasantly surprised to find out it wasn’t as complicated as we thought, and even seemed less complicated than renting another apartment. When we agreed that buying was the way to go, we decided to focus on the suburbs of Paris, closest to our neighborhood at the time, since buying in Paris was out of the question lol…since I don’t drive and at the time my husband didn’t have a car, we focused on the nearby suburbs with Metros so we did visits to Bagnolet, Maisons Alfort and Creteil. After going back and forth we finally settled on Creteil, ironic also since I was a student there when I did study abroad.

We grew to love Creteil as I mentioned on previous posts, especially the Centre Ancien. When we arrived in the apartment we were three and eventually became 4 🙂 So after a few years it started to become obvious that we  needed to move to 1). A bigger apartment and 2). A place where the secondary schools were great which sadly wasn’t the case in Creteil.

We started visiting different places back in 2015 just to get a feel. However it was actually disappointing because for every visit we did, we realized we needed to sell our apartment first before we could move on. We were teasing ourselves, we visited the following towns going back and forth on which criteria was important to us:

• Boissy St Leger where we could afford a nice house, however the schools left alot to be desired not to mention the fact that we felt far away from everything.
• Sucy en Brie which had beautiful houses but more likely than not we would need to pay for private school
• Creteil, at one point we considered staying there but again the schools at the secondary level made us worried, not to mention that the taxes are extremely high
• Yerres in Essonne, a beautiful town but again too far and also high taxes
• Maisons Alfort, where my husband works so wasn’t very ideal
• Noisy le Grand because of the international school college and lycee
• Champs Sur Marne, which was nice but felt too far away
• Saint Maur des Fosses which we eventually chose 🙂

We weren’t quite ready to put the apartment on the market, we wanted to do some small renovations first, etc. So finally after 2 years of doing various visits, we decided earlier this year we were really ready to sell. Trying to sell an apartment is an interesting/stressful process. For one thing we decided we didn’t want to go through an agency and we wanted to sell ourselves. So we put an ad on le bon coin. Alot of visits were scheduled and each visit required alot of energy, we had to make sure the apartment looked perfect and be ready to respond energetically to all of the questions.

After a few visits, we quickly received an offer however it was much too low to accept. Eventually we finally received an acceptable offer and we were estatic to say the least 🙂 We quickly accepted the offer and scheduled a visit to the notaire to sign the compromis de vente aka sales agreement at the Notaire’s Office. Immediately after signing,we started booking visits for a new place to buy, as we could finally buy confidently. Our goal was to avoid doing a credit pret relais aka credit loan relay as it seemed too risky in the event that the sale falls through, which could happen for many reasons such as if the buyer doesn’t end up receiving a bank loan, etc.

After signing the Compromis de Vente, the buyer has a delay of 10 days to change their minds. However this is normally extremely rare as the buyer has to put down a deposit to confirm their interest in the new acquisition. In the meantime we ended up finding an apartment we liked that fit our requirements, as with anything in France signing the compromis de vente took longer than expected because there was alot of paper work which had to be obtained by the real estate agency. As it was an apartment, we needed alot of documents from the copropriété aka Co Op board.

This was a blessing in disguise, because on the 10th day following the signature we received a registered letter from the buyer saying she had indeed changed her mind! We were devasted to say the least and even the notaire said this was extremely rare. However we were relieved because we hadn’t legally started the process to obtain the new apartment, so we just needed to call the agency to say we were no longer interested in buying the new apartment.

Nonetheless it still felt devasting, as we couldn’t seem to advance on moving to a new place since we still hadn’t sold our apartment. It is hard to bring me down, so after feeling depressed for a few days, I decided we just needed to pick ourselves up and keep going with our goal to sell the apartment. We also decided instead of immediately buying a new place, finally we would sell, move into a rental and start our search for a new place to buy once the sale was DONE (meaning, signed, sealed, delivered! lol)

So off we went again on Le Bon Coin, putting up an ad for our apartment. We quickly started to receive many phone calls to schedule visits. We even had someone visit our apartment, who forgot to that she had visited a few months back, she even had the audacity to ask (wow you guys still didn’t sell)…meanwhile in my mind I’m thinking and wow you are wasting people’s time, why do you keep visiting our apartment! lol…we also had a neighbor who said perhaps a family member was interested in buying, they even visited, however gave no news whatsoever after the visit, was a bit awkward to say the least when we ran into the neighbor after that. After about a month we finally received an offer, but we were very reluctant. It was right before the vacation, so we were scared to be honest that they would change their minds again like the first buyer.

When we got back from our vacation, we were relieved to find out they had not changed their minds and we could not only schedule a signature date with the Notaire but we could finally move on to the next chapter in our lives.

We frantically searched for a rental which was stressful considering we were trying to move before la rentree and alot of the agencies were actually still on vacation. But looking back that was just a simple detail now lol…and last Friday after what seemed like months of struggle we signed l’acte definitif at the notaire’s office, and we gave the keys of our apartment to the buyers. I have to say seeing the apartment that we lived in for 7 years completely empty made me feel emotional. Buying that apartment was a big step in our lives, and selling it is another one. We are looking forward to starting the next chapter in our lives and I will be writing the Recherche Maison post soon 🙂

I’m Busy

One of the reasons I started this blog is because of the fact that it took me years to finally feel at home in what can sometimes feel like a crazy place. My motivation for this blog is to share stories which motivate readers who might be going through a hard time adjusting to living here. I have found that one of the things  which helps the most is having support. In fact having support is key not only from you family but also your friends. I have  found some of the friendships here to be stronger than the ones back home, because you are share the common struggle of trying to make it in another country and also being away from your family and friends. Over the years I have met alot of people. However obviously everyone isn’t meant to be your friend

It is a bit of a taboo matter I guess, because sometimes especially in the expat context making new friends can feel a bit like dating lol: figuring out if you have common interests, organizing meetups, seeing if schedules correspond, calculating distance, etc….

Have you heard of the modern day concept of ghosting? Often described in a dating context, it can also apply to friendship, read more here: Friendship Ghosting.

And you know what, I can say that yes I have been ghosted!  To be honest, I am just someone who likes to see those around me happy and doing well. All that to say is at least in my case, the times where I have been “ghosted” it always starts with “Oh I have been so busy”!

I’m not someone who likes to complain or toot my own horn. However in 2017, who isn’t busy! I’m a married, full time working Mom of 2. So if anyone can understand being busy it is certainly me! However I don’t like to go around like a broken record stating the obvious. In the end it is true the only thing that helps me is effective time management because otherwise managing the kids, activities, work, marriage, friendships, etc can indeed be a recipe for disaster.

The majority of my friends are people I have known for multiple years. And obviously you can’t see or even talk to your friends 24/7. However for those that I have met here, if I never hear from you in any manner (text, phone, social media, real life, etc) for multiple months at a time, what exactly is the point of being friends? Especially if we are living in the same place?

As I stated earlier finding support as an expat is very important, and if the supposed “friends” you have you never see or hear from than for me that means it perhaps isn’t a very real friendship and actually isn’t very healthy for “support”.

Just to let you know I am a Leo and Leos are extremely loyal. However for me loyalty must be earned, and friendship is a 2 way street. I posted about my feelings about this on an online forum and was met with many reactions that I was being harsh, not understanding enough and people are indeed extremely busy. But again as I mentioned before, who isn’t busy in this day and age?

For me a part of effective time management is giving my time to those who deserve it. Friendship takes effort and if it is only coming from one side, than in my opinion it isn’t worth my time. Here is an article on recovering from this phenomenon Recovering from Ghosting. In the meantime these experiences have made me appreciate the real friends I have so much more, and be the best friend I can be to myself and those around me 🙂

 

Paris Outside the Périphérique- Saint Maur des Fossés

It has been over a year since the last installment of Paris Outside the Périphérique. We have so far gone everywhere from Etampes, Antony, Saint Denis, Nogent Sur Marne, and Creteil.

My last personal contribution to the series was Creteil. After living there for 7 years it was a place I had grown to love, especially our neighborhood also known as Creteil Village.

Lac de Créteil

However despite loving our neighborhood (easy Metro access to Paris, beautiful parks, lakes and rivers right around the corner) certain aspects were becoming hard to deal with. Including the high property tax (1350 € for a one bedroom, apt) and secondary schools which leave much to be desired).

So after over one year of visiting different towns such as Noisy le Grand, Champs sur Marne, Yerres, and Sucy en Brie to name a few we finally came to a decision that Saint Maur des Fossés would be the best place to fit all of our needs as a family. It’s true most times the further away you go from Paris, the more space you can get and the cheaper it is. Visiting some of the houses was tempting indeed but in the end the most important thing to us was quality of schools, access to public transportation, and also a city which was far from boring.

As I work full time during the week, I don’t necessarily want to have to go to Paris to keep our kids entertained. And if one is looking for entertainment you don’t have to look far in St Maur. Every weekend there is something to do. This past weekend, the city hosted the biggest food truck festival in Ile de France (particularly exciting for me as an American and considering how the food truck concept is relatively new to France). There was also a Color Run which took place the same weekend. This follows last week’s outdoor cinema event. It seems like the local calendar is always full of festivals, workshops, and shows) There are also lots of restaurants, and cafes to choose from. Including the family friendly Central Parc Cafe which even hosts movie events for kids! In addition to many beautiful parks and La Marne, which is perfect to take a stroll. So we basically have the variety of Paris without all of the crowds! lol

 

Outdoor cinema event in St. Maur

Color Run in St. Maur

View of the picturesque Marne from St Maur in the Fall 🙂

Vieux Saint Maur

Parc l’abbaye

The RER A runs through the town, there are 4 stops in total as well as mulitple buses making for easy and quick access to Paris.

As for the schools, while it is difficult to find a ranking of preschools and elementary schools, they do exist for secondary schools. Already one of the more difficult aspects of living abroad is sending your kids to school in a system which is so different from the one I knew growing up in the U.S. Therefore being comfortable with the quality of the schools is even more important.

The public middle schools in St Maur all have over a 90% success rate on the Brevet exams, which is a good indicator on the quality of the education. There are some schools who have less than a 70% success rate!

If you are interested in the ranking of local schools in your area, please look at the link below:

Middle School Rankings

There are also alot of schools which offer special integrated dance, theater, film and music programs. I even found a local middle school which remade one of my favorite movies L’auberge Espagnole in English. I am also pleased that there are local Facebook groups, including specifically for parents as it makes me feel more of a link to the community.

So yes in the end it was a no brainer, after staying in Creteil for 7 years we knew we wanted to move to place where we could once again settle for at least 7 years and we have found that place in St Maur 🙂

Updates

Where to begin! So it has been over a year since I  have updated my blog. Fall came and left and is now unfortunately back! 🙂 This year has been a bit of a rollercoaster to say the least.

After my last post we planned a family trip to the West Coast. Despite being American, I had never been and it was more complicated to plan than I imagine. For example renting a car, and realizing upon arrival after a 12 hour flight that my husband didn’t know how to ride a stick shift car, that was fun especially since I don’t drive lol!

Then the new year started off with a bang, when I dislocated my shoulder in an abs class. Don’t ask! The pain was indescribale, the only fun part was the laughing gas at the ER when they were putting my shoulder back into place, can you say ouch! I ended up being on sick leave for a month, and had to go to physical therapy. Was an interesting experience for someone like myself who is always on the go, I had to learn to take it easy. I also ended up changing jobs early this Spring.

This was followed by what can only be described as a real estate nightmare which I will describe in detail in a future post 🙂 So yes basically a few trips abroad, to the hospital, to HR and to the notaire, that sums up my year.

Now that things have finally winded down, I will be sure to update this blog more regularly.

Hope you all had a great rentree! Til the next post.

What Pumpkin Pie Means to Me

I hesitated on whether or not I should do this post, can you think of a post with an odder  title! 😉 However since Halloween and the holidays are quickly approaching. I figured that this Sunday would be the perfect day to make my first pumpkin pie of the season.

It may seem odd to those who aren’t American the importance of this peculiar pie also known as tarte à la citrouille. However now after living here  7 years, I realized that my relationship with pumpkin pie, has evolved as much as I have during my time living abroad.

I first came to Paris through a study abroad program in 2007. While there were alot of fun and games 😉 there was also homesickness. And I think no matter how adapted you are, it is always a difficult experience the first time you spend the holidays abroad. What do you mean there is no pumpkin pie! To the dismay of  yourself, if you are surrounded only by French people 🙂 many of whom have never tasted this American staple.

When I took the plunge and finally moved for good in 2009, I can say Thanksgiving that year was truly depressing. It was just another day in France and pumpkin pie was no where to be found. I became desperate, and where there is a will there is always a way. Especially when it comes to an American searching for food 🙂 So I took myself to an American restaurant , which I felt was godsent. They were selling take away pumpkin pies. While I couldn’t be happier, I also paid 30€ a pie which you can buy in the U.S. for about 4,50€. Desperate much!

The following year, I decided no matter how strong my craving was I couldn’t live with paying 6 times the price I would pay in the U.S. So I ordered canned pumpkin from an online American grocery, along with other goodies. However upon reflection, I was only ordering from the site for the canned pumpkin pie buying stuff I didn’t need.

So I found myself again at a crossroads the following Thanksgiving. I realized I had no other option if I wanted to satisfy my craving while also protecting my pocketbook. I decided to make one from scratch. Quelle horreur! I should also add a disclaimer, I am a horrible cook. I only cook because it is necessary for survival not for pleasure.

After searching a bit on the internet, I came across a French recipe for pumpkin pie. I realized since it was a French recipe it would be easier and cheaper to find the ingredients  in France.

French Recipe for Pumpkin Pie

In addition, since I am such an amateur cook, I found the tip that you can substitute the pumpkin with Picard: Puree potiron, all for a whopping 1,95€! This made my life even easier when preparing the recipe. I have been making pumpkin pie from scratch ever since. And can’t help to think of how far I have come with pumpkin pie but also as an expat in France. My daughters now look forward  each year to making the pie at home.  So here is to pumpkin pie and all of the stages of being an expat! Feeling sad, missing home, finding alternatives and eventually adapting and creating your own traditions 🙂

 

 

Wednesday Club- Mercredi in France

 

Depending how long you have been in France and the age of your children, you might not be aware of the importance Wednesdays plays on families in France.

When I arrived in 2009 and my oldest daughter entered school in 2011, I was surprised to learn that there was no school on Wednesdays in France. Ok I was actually more than surprised I was quite shocked. As a working American Mom, this raised multiple questions, the most important being, WHY????

Growing up in the U.S. even though the educational system can vary state to state, it is pretty much universal that kids go to school 5 days a week. As a working Mom, and even sometimes looking for a job I couldn’t understand why most parents are expected to work 5 days a week, yet for children in France this wasn’t the case. I saw arguments stating that the kids would be tired, but why would French children be more tired than American kids?

This also obviously posed logistical problems, concerning day care. And also when looking for a job, depending on the position it can be difficult to state that you can only work 4 days of the week….

Luckily in France, there is a system in place, where parents can send their children to what is known as a “centre de loisirs” a safe place organized by the school where depending on the resources, children play games, do activities and  go on various outings.

My daughter personally has always had a love and hate relationship with the centre. She never really particularly wants to go, however when she does go she ends up having fun for the most part.

Up until 2014, parents had to find a solution to occupy their children for the entire day on Wednesdays. For those with resources, it is much easier to enroll their kids in various activities this day, have a nanny, etc. For those without resources and who are not stay at home parents it was a struggle and for the most part the only option was sending the kids to the centre de loisirs.

For working parents there has also always existed the option of working 4/5. Meaning you work 4 out of 5 days. Normally you have to have been working with the company for at least one year to be eligible. However you would also be earning less money, which is a choice the family has to make.

This all changed in 2014 when public schools re-instated Wednesday morning school. If you are not French, it is hard to understand. But from the outside looking in, it seems this has always been controversial. Depending on the French person you speak to, and the year they are born, they may mention that they grew up going to school on Saturday morning, Wednesday morning, 4 days a week, etc. It really varies greatly. And seems to change according to the current government in place. All this to say in 2014 I was happy when the Wednesday mornings were re-instated, as my daughter always hesitant to go to the centre. She would only now be going in the afternoon which was more managable. However despite the change to the law, many private schools chose to continue with the 4 day week. Making a complicated situation for working parents , if they want to enroll the kids in the centre de loisirs, they can only do so for the afternoon and will have to find a solution for Wednesday mornings.

After living here for 7 years, I am still learning new things. Earlier this year, I learned that there are other options which exist for working parents besides 4/5, and they also include working 90% of the time. I was estatic when I found this out because working 90% was more managable for me than working 4/5. And with my youngest entering ecole maternelle this year, I realized this was the best decision for my family.

So after 7 years living in France, I am finally a member of the Wednesday club! I work Wednesday mornings and am free the afternoons to take my daughters to activities, the park, do grocery shopping, etc. I am grateful to have this opportunity. And my only hope is that future governments stay consistent with the structure of the schoolweek.