Bringing a Little Bit of Texas to France

The old expression is…”You can take the girl out of Texas but you can’t take Texas out of the girl.” . A statement that holds fast even now while I am in France. It was an unexpected move for sure. I had a full time job as a nurse at a physical rehabilitation hospital in Houston, Texas. My husband had a full time job managing a store and restaurant. We were simply going to France to see my husbands parents who are French. I boarded the plane for France and never went back to the USA. It all happened in a whirlwind.

In the beginning I did not miss home even a little. I loved meandering the streets of Montpellier and swimming in the Mediterranean Sea only 10 min tram ride from my home.I adored trying all the wonderful French food! I was fascinated by the creaminess of the butter, the pungent cheeses, and the glossy pastries! However, homesickness came knocking.

 

I was really starting to miss my family and honestly the American way of eating and drinking!! I think the hardest part for me was missing my Texas traditions. I would longingly watch youtube and reminisce about how much I loved attending the rodeo at home. I really missed that Texas feel. I missed jumping into my SUV and every other channel was country or Spanish music. We lived in a predominately Hispanic area and I loved everything about that. I had a choice. I could wallow in what I missed or explore this new culture of mine. I started taking walks to an area where I could feed horses. I blast my ipod with George Straight, Dolly Parton, and many other country bands to get my fix. I found that I could bring my own background and culture and mix it with France. I could long for something I left behind or I could simply bring all my hobbies and likes to my new country.

 

I decided it was time to integrate but still hold onto my roots. I had to teach my toddler where he was born and where we come from as well as embrace out new found home. The main thing that every Texan knows is Mexican food is a must and a part of daily living. I started searching the aisles of Carrefour and Auchan to find ingredients to make my homemade quesadillas. I made tacos from scratch, fajitas, and guacamole! I would cook large dinners and serve them to family and friends. My French friends and family absolutely adored it! We had big parties and I even had a friend host a Cinco De Mayo party complete with margaritas, tacos, and pico de gallo. We had all the fix ins as we say in Texas!!! I blasted mariachi music and other Mexican artists I love!! It was great! It is quite easy to cook the things you love in France. They have everything you need normally and if not online products can be found. I am very close to the border of Spain so I can go there and get many of the same products needed.

 

My family celebrates Thanksgiving complete with my specialty cajun spiced injected turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and mac and cheese. My French family also thinks this is fun and exotic and I just feel happy sharing. It is almost more fun when you get to share it with those who are so excited to try out a new holiday. I host a 4th of July party complete with hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and grill out! We all swim and listen to American music. Last year my friends’ daughters even played the Star Spangled Banner National Anthem and they put their hands on their heart and were proud to show me they were joining in the patriotism. They baked me a cake with an American flag.

 

Honestly, sharing these traditions with my new friends and French family has been exhilarating. The French are very open people and kind hearted. They also admire many American traditions and they enjoy joining in most times. I celebrate Halloween with my friends and dress and decorate the house with spooky things and buy candy.

 

My French husband loves the cowboy culture of America so we decided to get our PACS here in France. We had a small country themed wedding. We wore stetsons, cowboy boots purchased in France, and wore yellow roses. (This is the state flower of Texas). The mayor and loved seeing it and even strangers outside of the mayors office admired our outfits and wanted to discuss where I came from. There is nothing a Texan likes more than talking about Texas. I can do this here and not annoy anyone. I love even more when the French explain their culture and traditions and we exchange thoughts on the differences. Then, I get to choose to blend the two and have the best of both worlds.

I have moved to France and this country has been good to me. I will always celebrate my roots because I am proud. But, I am also proud of living in this beautiful country full of history and charm. The blending of the two cultures gives me a feeling of adventure as well as contentment.

 

I am a Texas girl born and raised. I had many jobs from bartender, radio DJ to nurse. I love a good glass of wine and spending as much as possible with friends and my French family here in the south of France.

Tales from Seattle to Paris

Pre-France
Before living in France, I had been living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for 5 years. I had moved there from Seattle in 2003 to follow my long-term partner and to attend the University of Pittsburgh’s Speech-Language Pathology graduate program. Neither of these choices ended up working out, and in the summer of 2007, at the tender age of 28 I found myself asking what it was I really wanted from life. I remember sitting in front of my computer at 2 am in the morning wondering what I could do with a language research background and a love for teaching when the language assistant program in France popped up. French was one of those things I had always loved and I loved living abroad (having done so in Taiwan and Guatemala), so it was a no-brainer. I put together my application, took a refresher French course, and waited for news. I received my acceptance letter in April of 2008 and learned I would be assigned to a technical school (lycée professional) in Angers. People asked me how close it was to Paris, or they would say “You’re so lucky to be living in Paris”. Already proud of Angers, I found myself constantly correcting people, usually with me saying half-jokingly “You know, Paris does not equal France!” Little did I know that I would continue to say so until I actually lived in Paris. But I digress. Thus started my French life, a spontaneous decision made at 2 o’clock in the morning.

Angers
I wanted to beef up my teaching experience a bit before the school year began in October so I took an intensive certificate teaching course. I lived and breathed pedagogy for the entire month of September in a little town outside Paris called Tournan-en-Brie. Now armed with not only a more cohesive teaching approach but also some great insights into teaching French students in particular, I felt quite confident as I arrived in Angers for my first ever job in France

But as it would turn out, I wouldn’t be able to teach for another 3 months. After a week of arriving in Angers, I was hit by a car on my way to an orientation meeting in Nantes. And so, I got to learn way more than I ever thought I would about the French health care system. And let me tell you, as an American, I love the health care system here. I had no family anywhere in Europe, let alone France, and the few people I knew were either my week-old flatmates or my colleagues from the teaching course. My family back home had their own health problems to battle – my mom was suffering from cancer – and so I recovered slowly with the help of the town of Angers. I found everyone in Angers to be incredibly kind, generous, and patient with me. While my mom was racking up hospital bills in the thousands back home, with sub-par care, I was getting quality treatments in France. I marveled at how the doctor would come to me at my flat once a week, and a nurse would stop by every day for a month to monitor the heavy meds I was on, and then there was a driver to take me to my physical therapy once I was fit enough to do so. All of it covered by the universal health care provided to even me, a foreigner who had only been in France for a month and a week.

I loved Angers. I still think of it with nostalgia. As someone who grew up in the Pacific Northwest, surrounded by a beautiful outdoors, the Loire Valley was a perfect fit. I loved being within walking distance of a river again. I could hop on a train and be in Nantes in no time if I wanted more liveliness, more culture. And the city has this wonderful program where a bike was available to any resident of Angers. Free of charge. So once my physical therapist ok’d it, I got myself a bike and took advantage of all the bike and hiking trails the region had to offer. There were also free language classes (among others) offered by a local community center, and I found myself popping into the Spanish and French classes whenever I could. I absolutely loved it there.

At the end of my contract, I found myself looking for a job again. I was now 29 and at the limit (at that time) for the language assistant program, so it was time to send out the old CV again. I ended up getting a teaching job in Paris, to start in September, so I went back home to the States for July and August. Sadly, my mother died that summer, and so I stayed in the States for a year instead of returning to Paris.

Return to France: Clermont-Ferrand
My return to France was as a lectrice in the fall of 2010, this time in Clermont-Ferrand. I found CF to be a little less friendly than Angers. In Angers my French really took off as I was the only native English speaker I knew, even in the language department. But in CF, I was at the Université Blaise Pascal where 90% of the English language staff were native speakers. I lived on my own instead of with flatmates. My French took a bit of a dive, and all the wonderful community programs in Angers that were so easy to find out about seemed nonexistent in CF. It was all up to me to make quite an effort to integrate even a little into CF life, but it would take a year to figure that out, and about two years to learn to like Clermont-Ferrand. I learned about OnVaSortir, a kind of meetup for French speakers, and made most of my friends through there. When I wanted to get out of the city, I learned about covoiturage, another online resource for carsharing. Not until my last year in CF did the city implement a bike program like the velib in Paris. Riding the bus also became far more important than it had in Angers. CF is not really connected to anything, and hopping on the train to go to the next little town wasn’t as exciting to me has it had been in Angers. But, CF does have an excellent short-film festival every February and summertime heralds tons of festivals. And other little gems like Café les Augustes, the Flea Market or Ciné Fac had weekly entertainment. Otherwise a car was necessary to really take advantage of the gorgeous natural beauty of the Auvergne. Daily life was otherwise similar to Angers, such as if you wanted only a baguette, you could often hop the queue at the boulangerie, grab one from the basket at the counter, and hand over exact change (all the while being polite, of course).

While I had some friends in Clermont, my close friends were in Paris, so I found myself taking the 4.5 hour train ride for most of my holidays. It was during one of the those trips that I met my current partner, my lovely German who lived in Paris. We were a doing the long-distance thing when I fell pregnant in my last year in CF. Being pregnant in CF was wonderful. Clermont-Ferrand has a wonderful network of midwives (sage-femmes) and I couldn’t have felt more taken care of between them (really her, Marine Vidal) and my OBGYN Dr. Chabrand. I saw my sage femme regularly and the one time I couldn’t get to her, I trusted in the network. When it came time to give birth, my OBGYN wasn’t available, but I wasn’t worried as, being a small town, everyone knew me on the staff, even if I hadn’t met them, and I was well looked after by the formidable, lovely Marilyn. We spent 6 lovely days in the clinic, and I am forever grateful to the staff at Clinique la Châtaigneraie. I really felt welcomed into the sisterhood of mothers, and owe my both my lack of fear in asking for help, and my confidence as a mother, to those 6 days of learning from those wonderful women.

Paris
Once Léon was born, we moved our previously 2 domiciled family into one, located in the 13ème of Paris. I thought I knew Paris, but the one you live in is vastly different from the one you visit. The préfecture is beyond unhelpful, the landlords uncaring, and as a new mother, the community of French women unwelcoming. But I still love it here, better than I did CF. Old friends who had lived in Paris had moved onto other adventures, so I found myself once again starting from scratch in terms of a social circle. But this I didn’t mind too much. I had a new family, and I loved watching the wonder that is my growing son. The three of us went out to eat once a week in the first year of Léon’s life, and I found every restaurant more friendly towards us than before. We bought a baby seat for our bikes so we could explore the city without the metro or buses. We’ve gone on walking tours and artexhibitions with only smiles for our little guy from the general public. I breastfed Léon for 7 months and never once encountered someone out to shame me. Our closest friends are a Spanish couple with a little girl who goes to the same crèche. We’re each other’s emergency contacts, and when either of us need couple time, the other is happy to watch the little ones. We are truly luck to have found them and the variety of other expats living in Paris.

I loved the jobs I had had in Angers and CF, working for the national education ministry but here in Paris, I found myself working at a private company as an English teacher, being sent out to the far corners of Paris teaching small courses at big businesses. It wasn’t for me, all the commuting, and with our crèche frequently on strike that year, always in the dog house with my last-minute absences. So now I’m currently unemployed, thinking about my next move from the comfort of our cosy apartment in the 13ème, with the love and support of my wonderful partner, the giggles and hugs of my little boy, and the city bustling around me.

Have any questions about living in Angers, Clermont-Ferrand, Paris, or being sick/pregnant/unemployed/living on a budget/the assistant program/getting TESOL certified in France? I’m always happy to share my experiences, my knowledge such as it is, and when I can’t help, to simply listen. Don’t hesitate to contact me 🙂

 

This post originally appeared on Melissa’s blog which you can follow here

https://lalanguedesetoiles.wordpress.com/welcome/about-the-linguist-from-seattle-to-paris/

 

Being a Single Parent in Paris

Being a parent is tough. Being a single parent is tougher. Being a single parent in a foreign land with a different language, well sometimes I question my sanity!

When the opportunity presented itself, for me to live in a city I had romanticized as a home from my teenage visits, across the sea vs. the Atlantic to my family, with a company and client I was already familiar with, it seemed an opportunity I should accept.

My son was three when we arrived. A lively, vocal, confident and playful boy; tall for his age, with a knowing look on his face, he is often considered older than his years. There was no question of stay-at-home mum, part-time employment, or freelance flexi-schedule. I needed care, as I had in New York, five days a week, and through school holidays. The first port of call was Le Marie. Armed with passports, birth certificates, apartment and work contracts, the Marie assigned the Ecole Maternelle that he would go to.

My mum had very kindly come over to help me set up (including some city wide searches for mops and specific plugs) and to help get Spencer settled. A former French teacher, she proved not only a great source of emotional help and support (it’s nice to have dinner with an adult as well as a child), but her translation skills were critical. She came with me to meet the school Directrice, identifying the whys and wherefores, schedule requirements, vacations dates and how the Garderie ((after school) kicks in after school and over the vacation period. Also identified was the need for a trip back to Le Marie to get confirmation of the Cantine tariff I would have to pay. Whether lost in translation or just general lack of clarity, there were a lot of fingers pointing me in different directions as to who actually assigned the Cantine tarriff. Ultimately, it was the Marie who needed to see a payslip and salary verification. They then provided the tarriff amount on a yellow stick-it note (très official!) and sent me back to the school who then captured the amount in their records and it was locked in for the year.

On S.’s first morning at school, I was relieved to find an Irish/French bilingual girl in his class. As I sat with S., attempting to encourage interaction with the other kids, it was my mum who honed in on the mother and started drilling her for information- phone numbers, doctor recommendations, and the English Speaking Parents Messaging Board URL. In Brooklyn, I had been actively involved as a user and moderator of the free Bococa Parents Group, so I found the Parisian board expensive to join and not so intuitive to navigate. However, I did find, most importantly, a babysitter. I posted a request for babysitter referrals and after meeting with five different people, I met a lovely couple who asked me if I would mind if it was the husband who collected S. vs. the wife. Absolutely not! I am really happy that S. has a male baby sitter, and am even more happy with the fact that they have been with me for the entire 2 years that I have been here. S. loves his babysitter and has been embraced by the entire family, even going to christening and birthday celebrations with them!

I must have looked like a deer in the headlights every morning as I dropped S. off at school, not able to communicate with the teacher or the parents. I tried to talk to the other parents (giving the Irish mum a rest from being my only target) and tried to set up play dates. Not only was there a language issue, cultural differences emerged. In NYC, play dates were a frequent and desired activity. Social circles and weekend activities formed around the children. In Paris, this did not seem the way. With a different sense of work/family division, a general feeling of closed communities, as well as weekends being occupied with family activities or trips to the country to see the grandparents, there was minimal uptake on my play date outreach. Whatever my challenges, poor little man! He couldn’t understand, or be understood. He wanted to go back to Brooklyn.

We arranged some facetime calls with his fellow musketeer preschool friends. Not the easiest form of sharing toys and latest news, with the cameras often presenting the ceiling or the carpet, we changed to video’ing messages that we emailed back and forth. That works much better! The three musketeers are always reunited when we go back to New York, and the friendships seem to remain strong, picking up where they left off.

Eventually, a Parisian father took pity on me. His son was also fairly quiet so he also thought solidifying an ally for his son outside of the class room might be a good idea. We had a couple of outings, and whilst the kids had a blast, our conversations in broken English were challenging. I needed another plan. Not only to help S., but to help me! Weekdays are limited to bed time story, and walk to school time; not very much parental time for a child. So weekends are precious and important for us to spend together. We became acquainted with the Aquarium, the zoo, the Palais des Découverte and several other museums and parks. Whilst great company, I kept thinking there must be other mothers who might want a companion for outings. I posted on the english Message board offering to host a children’s English songs singing group but got no inquiries for a year! (When I had almost forgotten about it, I received a couple of calls and now I have met with a couple of parents about three times for a sing along!)

I then tried MeetUp. A zillion groups for every configuration of family, interest, and activity. I found the expat parents and signed up. it took a few schedulings before we actually managed to “meet up”, but when got together, we had a really fun day. S. got on with the girls really well, and it was so nice to be able to have an actual conversation. The organizer is a power house, scanning kid friendly activities and continually posting in the group. My other life saver was finding a music group that turned out to be 10 minutes walk away, organized by a wonderful Bulgarian Piano player who just so happened to have a daughter the same age as S. They buddied up immediately. So from having no adult social life, I had a friday night hang, live music, in a bar/restaurant, where I could take S.; he had a friend to play with and I got to chat with adults and sing. I was very sad when the bar decided to close down.

The most unnerving situations have been when S. had some medical concerns that resulted in couple of 2am calls to the Pompiers followed by trips to the hospital. I hate not being able to discuss and understand clearly what is going on. I have worked on my french, and it’s certainly better than it was, but I am no where near fluent or able to navigate those moments with certainty. I now know there are also Medical record books that you can get from Le Marie. You have to get them in person (presenting birth certificates, passports and job/apartment contracts. This is how you record your child’s health, immunizations etc. (so when you are there getting your school and Cantine tarriff assignments, go an get one of these too! the doctors do not provide them!)

After a rocky start, and a couple of “Pas Sage” moments, S. can now speak fluent french, and has a great group of friends. I have found a core group of mum’s, mainly english speaking, but some French, who I feel confident I can call if need be. It’s not quite like my friends in NY where we can go and hang out, lounge on the couch, watch the telly, eat, chat, and not have a set end time. But it’s a lot better than it was!

Paris is a beautiful city, the museums and parks are great. I am very impressed with the école Maternelle and garderies. The art work they do is amazing, the trips to museums and chateaus are enviable, the extra curricular activities are energizing. As S. gets older, the next issue will be homework and being able to help him. If it is in French, I will not be a good tutor!
It’s been a challenge, but I think it’s a wonderful experience that wherever we end up, S. will have benefited from and have some wonderful memories of our time here.

 

English-born Amanda T. is an expat New Yorker and single mum living in Paris, recording her life and travels through songs, stories, drawings, and photographs.

Living in France With My American Wife

It’s been such an experience being with my American wife. We all have our ups and downs, I saw it with my parents and never understood the reasons for the arguments. UNTIL I met my wife who spoke more French then I spoke English (ok I didn’t speak any English). Her being here since 2001, when I met her in 2008 helped with her already understanding French culture.

We met through my neighbor who was her friend, at his birthday party in January. However we started talking a week before Valentine’s day. And then I attempted my chance and made a move. We were both in difficult situations so we both played it cool. However it all worked out when I asked to get transferred and she said yes when I asked her to come with me.

However, after being here for that amount of time, being away from her family, friends, language and culture, I noticed sometimes she’d get frustrated and nostalgic. When she would try to explain to me why she was feeling down, I didn’t understand why. I was happy, had good job, beautiful wife, etc. How can she be depressed if I was happy? I didn’t understand her culture and how Americans do things and react to different situations.

But we worked through it and that lead to the positive aspect of being in a Franco-American marriage. I love her accent and I often tell her that if she loses her accent then I will divorce her (I’m joking of course). This experience has given me the opportunity to discover another culture and how learn how and why Americans celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving and even the 4^th of July.

I also have had the opportunity to travel this beautiful country and discover where my wife grew up, allowing me to understand her a little better. My favorite aspect on being the French ying to her American yang, is that everybody is curious about us and of course her. She is so open that she has invited my colleagues to the house for homemade brownies, cookies and cheesecake . She is always looking to share her culture, even inviting 20 people over for Thanksgiving in our little living room.

In all being married to an American and living in my country is difficult, however, we make it work by sharing. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I am a 33 year old Gendarme, father of 1, stepfather to 1 and married to an American. Originally from Alsace but now living in Seine et Marne.

Dinny, the Rockstar Mom Living in Paris

I have always loved music since a very young age, I used to play piano for a few years when I was a teenager. I also always loved to write and sing but never had the chance to sing in a band, until I met my husband, then boyfriend Guillaume when I first moved to Paris in 2008. Guillaume has played in bands since he was a teenager, at that time he had two groups and he pushed me to sing and write lyrics for one of them, within 6 months we were off around France on a 10 day tour with our band, it was great, I got to see so much of France and we were together doing music, what more could you want! Pretty soon after this, my husband bought his own recording equipment and we  started to record our own songs as a duo, which we called Reipas…. Reipas is a Finnish word that means positive and uplifting; I got the idea from a good friend Susanna who is also in the English Speaking Mothers Facebook group, we met long before we were mothers when we used to work in an office together.

Guillaume and I started to work and create songs which then turned into our first album, Dancing with Fire which was released in 2011. We were lucky enough to work with an up and coming music producer and friend Chris Gordon in Glasgow, who gave us the final touches to our album https://reipas.bandcamp.com/. We played as a duo for 3 years before becoming a full band,  Guillaume and I did many concerts and mini tours, around France, and we even were lucky enough to play in London and Brussels, it was really great. We used to pack up the car and head off, a little get away break for us while doing something we loved. We made our first video, a stop motion video that we created ourselves from photos we took around Paris. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mJfhDbN298

Then in 2012 I got pregnant with our son, I continued to play music and concerts right up to the end of the pregnancy. This was going to change a lot, with my family in Ireland and my husband’s family living a 40min drive from Paris, we didn’t have any help. We stopped music until our son was 10 months and then found a babysitter, it was hard because I wasn’t working, and a babysitter is expensive. This slowed down things a lot, and sometimes I would not be able to go every week to the practice. I was blocked at home, I missed creating songs and playing music, so I decided to put together a new band myself, this was going to be my first time doing my own music project without Guillaume, but I needed an outlet, I work from home and have stayed at home with my son since the day he was born and I love that, but I needed a little piece of me back.

 

So I put together my other band Liberosis 6 months ago, https://soundcloud.com/user-133867547 and it’s working really well, we already have a lot of songs and are moving fast, I have found some great guys to play with. This music is a totally different style and it feels good to start something new again. It has worked out perfectly, my husband plays his music and I take care of our son, and when I play my music, he takes care of our son, and we still play in Reipas together.

 

We are currently recording a 2^nd album with Reipas, to be released at the end of this year, and I am working on a demo with Liberosis, and hope to record our first album this year. I have sang as a guest on other Parisian bands albums, Crippled Old Fart which is my husband’s other group, September Boy, and Uneven who I also wrote the lyrics to their last LP, X Plane. I sometimes collaborate with Djs online and sing and write lyrics as well. I just finished one with the husband, of my good friend Suzanne.

 

I’m a mother first, but I love creating songs. Writing lyrics, for me it’s a way to express what I’m feeling inside, I love to write and record without thinking. It is a form of creative writing for me, and after listening to it, I see my thoughts and feelings in a song. Another little project Guillaume and I plan to work on this year is recording some songs with our son, I think he will appreciate this when he’s older. My son saw me singing one time in a concert and all he kept saying was, me too I want to sing, he wanted to jump up on stage, didn’t really care that Mommy was the one singing 🙂

 

My name is Dinny, I’m an Irish mother of a boy called Harvey who is almost 3, and married to a French man called Guillaume, I have been living in Paris for the past 8 years.

 

Paris Outside the Péripherique: Claye Souilly

I have lived in busy, “leave me alone” type of areas. I have lived in small, “hi, I know your name” type of areas. When coming over to France to live with my soon-to-be-husband, he took me to Paris to figure out which area I would be more comfortable in. After dodging dog poop and making sure I didn’t trip, or lose sight of my husband, we went home and the next day I had an eye infection. My decision was to stay out of Paris.

Carrefour Mall Claye Souilly

I didn’t realize that also came with some sacrifices. I already sacrificed being away from my friends and family with a major time difference making it even more difficult to stay in touch. But now I sacrificed meeting other people who can relate to what I am going through because most of those who have common ground with me live in Paris. So I was even further away from close contact. And since I didn’t know the language, or the Euro system, or the metric system, or the public transportation concept (I have always been able to drive a car), or the culture yet, I stayed inside because I was too nervous to go out. The “adjustment” phase seemed to be a very lonely one, especially since my family and friends thought I was Belle from “Beauty and The Beast” buying baguettes and singing to the birds on my way home.

I thought after I quickly learned French, everything would be ok. And then I started to learn French and was overwhelmed with all the exceptions. Then I got pregnant (surprise!!) and was too tired and sick to care. But the pregnancy also got me out of the house, because if I was craving a mayonnaise and cheese sandwich then I was going to get one. I started walking to the little grocery store. I ended up counting the change before going up to the register because I would panic when they told me the price because they spoke too fast. Some cashiers would be very rude and aggressive with the change in my hand, but one cashier was really friendly and spoke a bit of english to make me feel comfortable. I considered her my first “friend”. It took me a few more months to realize that people will smile back at you if you say “bonjour” first so greeting people on the street became easier.

Mairie- Claye Souilly

After taking my required French classes, I felt more confident to talk on my own. I had mastered the bus stations around where I lived. I was able to make doctor appointments for myself. And I was more relaxed when going to the grocery store, especially since I had my own bank card now. My “friend” was able to see I was better and we have been able to chat more now. She will even say hello to my baby daughter.

It’s been a slow process adjusting, especially when you’re too far away from the Paris support system (because I’m gonna be honest, I’m not gonna take 2 hours on public transportation with a newborn baby just to meet up with others) and from my homeland support system. But I am starting to see that things are getting better little by little, and through the FB group pages, I find a foundation of a support system. Everything has been a stepping stone so far, and I’m determined to show my daughter how successful you can be when you start from nowhere.

Downtown Claye Souilly

I will be resuming my language lessons soon and hopefully be able to branch out locally to meet other moms that I can easily walk to in order to meet up for play dates. Things are getting better, and I LOVE where I live. I’m at “home” now and people recognise me, my baby and my husband here. And even though everyone still thinks I’m Belle and call me crazy when I miss my American food, I’m beginning to see the beauty in the French culture and no longer the beast.

I live in Claye Souilly, located in the Seine-et-Marne (77) Department.

My name is Rachel Rousseau, and I have lived in France for just over two years.to This American married a French native and together we decided to live our lives in France. Together we have enjoyed learning to be apart of such a diverse society and have become much kinder people in general. Our love has been a blessing from God for sure and now we get to learn how to bless back others in our community.

Living in France With My Expat Wife

My wife and I moved to back to Paris on December 31st, 2014. I met my wife in Tokyo where I was living for work. We married through the French Embassy in Tokyo. When my visa was about to expire,  we had a choice to make, either I could stay in Japan with a Japanese spousal visa or we could go back to Paris and my wife would be the one with the French spousal visa.

It was quite a difficult decision to make because I really liked living in Japan and I didn’t want to separate my wife from her family. My wife ended up finishing her work contract in November so we decided that it was a good opportunity to think about moving to my native country, France.

My wife is fluent in English, and speaks no French. Her only previous trip abroad, had been to London. It was an adventure but she was ready to try! It has now been one year since we made this life changing decision, and we have managed to survive, surprisingly!

There have of course been some challenges, including encountering unfriendly governmental staff which my wife is not very used to. In her experience as they are paid by our taxes, they should be willing to help but this is unfortunately not always the case.  We also had a lot of trouble to get her carte vitale done and even now despite being pregnant, they only informed us now, (after being asked!) that they lost the paper saying she is pregnant. We had to rush and ask for another one from the midwife and send them again.

As in Japan the staff are always so helpful, it has been hard for her to understand why it is not the same here, she sometimes even thinks they may be biased towards her as she is a foreigner. I had to explain to her that this is not the case, they treat French people the same! 😉

There are also some cultural differences we became more aware of after the move. In Japan when the wife goes to the family in law’s home she has to help out a lot with cooking, cleaning, etc. But here in France, when she went to my parent’s place they didn’t want her to do anything, she was a guest, and a guest is a guest, even at the in-laws 🙂 She was very surprised by this.

The biggest challenge so far has been all of the paperwork! France and Japan are both very addicted to paperwork and it has been a very long process for us to get everything in order. From immigration (OFII) to the  Securité Sociale, and renewing my wife’s visa, it sometimes feel like a never ending process!

But these challenges are also something which has made our relationship stronger. When we married in Tokyo it took 8 weeks of paperwork between the  French Embassy and Japanese Foreign Ministry. It took the same amount of time to apply for the Carte Vitale in France.

However this move has not only been about paperwork, it has also been a great period of discovery. One of the first things I did when we moved to Paris, was take my wife to explore the city and introduce her to some cool English and Japanese speaking places in order to make her feel more comfortable and less home sick.

I am actually very fond of Japanese culture and traditions so we have made an effort to mix the best of both of our cultures. We often watch Japanese movies, and tv at home and also eat a lot of Japanese food! 😉 Living a multicultural lifestyle is alot of fun and is about to become even more so because my wife is due to deliver our first child in March. Raising a bilcultural child will be a big challenge but we are thankful to live in a big city like Paris where there are English speaking and even Japanese speaking kindergartens! We are looking forward to that stage !

Thomas is a French guy from Versailles, working in the bank industry in Paris, and enjoying life in Paris with his Japanese wife.  

 

Working in France: What to Expect

Happy New Year! As 2016 begins, there are perhaps some who would like to make career changes. You may be a stay at home Mom who would like to go back into the workforce, or a new arrival who would like to work. After living here 6 years and going through 7 jobs and all sorts of contracts, I just want to share the basics of what to expect from the French job market.

• In France there are two basic work contracts when working for a company. CDD which is a temporary work contract and CDI which stands for permanent contract translating literally into a contract without an end. (This post will only cover CDI and CDD contracts)

When I first arrived in France, I didn’t realize how important the type of contract you have can be important when settling in France. For example when looking for an apartment unfortunately the salary from short term contracts are not taken into consideration, making it more difficult to search than those who have permanent contracts.

At the time I was working as an English trainer and had a special CDD contract, basically a contract for each client that I had. Mind you in a month I would have maybe at least 15 different clients, which meant 15 different contracts! Can you say paperwork?! I stayed at this job for about a year.

In all honesty I took the job as it was one of the few that I was qualified for as a fresh college graduate who barely spoke French. And contrary to what you may have heard, I was able to get the English trainer job without an official qualification such a TOEIC, etc. The basic requirement was that I was an English native speaker, comfortable presenting myself and that I had the right to work. I have nothing bad to say about the experience but ultimately the job wasn’t for me. That is the most important thing I have taken away from the different jobs I have had, choose a job you enjoy doing. This is especially important to me living as a Mom abroad. Already you are living in another country, in addition you have to balance your work life with your family life, so you might as well do something you like!

When I came to this epiphany, I started to look for a job again but this time more precisely for CDI contracts, as I knew this would be important for me settling in France.

I ended up finding a CDI working in an educational institution and to this day it was one of the best professional experiences I have had. The environment was very international, my tasks were varied  and never boring, plus I spoke English all day long! But there was one down side, the salary. Which brings me to another important point about the French work world…SALARY….they often say that French people don’t like to talk about money. This is never more apparent then when doing a French interview. I have been through numerous interviews, where the subject is not even mentioned sometimes until the 3rd interview! In the beginning I would never dream of bringing it up first. But after time, I have realized interviews are time consuming and require alot of energy there is no reason to go to an interview where ultimately the salary does not meet your expectations. So don’t waste your time, and try to get this information before the interview or at least during the 1st interview.

Back to this job, at the time I had only graduated a year earlier from college in NY. Let’s just say I came to France with NY salary expectations, that was a mistake! According to the National Institute of Statistics & Economic Studies in France, the average net salary in France in 2012 was 25, 507€. Meanwhile in NYC the average net salary is 49, 783€. While this information was disappointing, it has to be taken into context. The salary is lower yes, but it also includes 5 weeks of paid vacation, health insurance, restaurant ticket vouchers (for the infamously long French lunch breaks), cover for at least 50 % of transportation costs, etc. In any case having this knowledge was powerful as it enabled me to better understand where I stood on the French job market. (Please note that the salary references concern local contracts and not expat contracts)

So I embarked once again on a search for a new job, as I thought I was entitled to earn a salary according to NY standards 🙂 I ended up finding a job in a law firm which met my salary expectations, however I H A T E D the job. For one thing as opposed to my previous jobs it was my first time working in a truly French working environment and I felt excluded from  the rest of the staff. This was on top of the fact that working in a law firm there was a deep hierarchical structure, so as a part of the administrative team  I was made to feel the bottom of the bottom. After only a few months I realized that if I wanted to keep my sanity, I would have to leave this job. It just wasn’t the right fit for me and I felt miserable. Fortunately around the time I realized I wanted to leave, I was actually called for a job working at an international economic organization, a job which I had applied for months before. It happened ironically about 2 weeks after I had completed my probational period of my CDI contract.

In France when you have a CDI, the contract has no determined ending. However normally the first 2 months are considered to be a probational period, where either party can terminate the contract even though it is a CDI contract.

So I had to fight to get out of the contract early, finally though I was able to start my new job. However unfortunately once again I found myself doing a job that I hated. The salary was amazing, with guaranteed increases each year, lots of benefits such as not paying taxes, credits to pay for private school tuition. However I found myself working an incredible amount of hours, spending lots of time in the Metro, as it was almost an hour and a half commute each way, and the job itself just wasn’t interesting to me and was also extremely stressful. When I got home I felt moody, and it just felt like I was cheating my family, and my health. I found myself getting sick easily due to the stress.

I had a personal talk with myself and realized that the job that I enjoyed the most was the one where I made the least amount of money. And for the sake of my family and my health decided to go back to working at educational institutions.

However there was one more unexpected bump in the road. Through my network I found a job at a new educational institution for a temporary contract, at this time I was so eager to work that I was willing to take the CDD. Once I signed the contract I felt great, but a few days later I felt myself frequently getting nauseous and also realized that my period was late. One pregnancy test later, confirmed what I was thinking. I was pregnant again! Happy news! Yet I had not yet started my CDD position and was due to start in a weeks time. So yes it happened to me, I was pregnant before starting my contract! No words can describe my feelings during this time and how scared I was to reveal the news. Luckily I was at the very beginning of my pregnancy so I wasn’t showing and managed to keep the news under wraps for about 2 months, with help from buying new wardrobe items to conceal my rapidly growing stomach! Needless to say my employer was shocked when I revealed the news and did not renew my 6 month contract.

After I gave birth, I took some time to be a stay at home Mom. It was refreshing to pick up my daughter from school at 4pm, and meet other Moms for coffee mornings. However I knew being a stay at home Mom wasn’t for me, and began for what felt like the umpteenth time to search for a job again. This time I was ready though, I had a list of the minimum requirements of the job which was right for me:

• Less than an hour commute
• International environment
• Minimum salary requirement
• A job which matched my skill sets, interests and career goals
• 35 hour work contract (in order not to get home too late)

Contrary to what you may have heard, not all contracts in France are 35 hours, there are many which are 40. And there are many companies in France where the employees do many hours of overtime. French people do work and sometimes work alot!

During the interviews, instead of just answering questions, I also asked questions myself. Because I realized that interviews should be 2 sided. The employer wants to know if you are right for the position, but you as the interviewee should also see if the company is right for you. One piece of advice, try to visit some offices to see the demeanor of the employees, do they seem happy or stressed? This for me was important.

I managed to find my current job and have now been there for 2 years. All this with a CV in English, to this day I don’t have a CV in French! While the perfect job doesn’t exist. I am happy where I am right now, and realized that I had to go through some of my previous crazy professional experiences in order to find the right job for me and have a balance between my family and professional life.